Dusting, dusting, 1..2..3…

the disarray of it all

“you are not too old And it is not too late.” Rainer Maria Rilke.

I love that quote.  it gives me hope and encouragement when i think i’ve blown it.  I took a hiatus from my art;  a sabbatical from the visually creative to pursue other interests.  My problem , however you’d like to view it, is i have too many interests.  I want to know everything.  And i love to learn.   According to Martin Seligman’s personality strength quiz, love of learning is my number one strength.  While that strength may be honorable, it can lead to scatterbrain thinking.  I’ve recently made it a goal to harness this strength to focus and pursue what it is i REALLY want to learn.  what my interests are, not just fancies.

To clarify, I didn’t quit my art.  I stopped for a while. But for all intensive purposes, i never quit.  there is a difference between quitting and stopping.  Quitting implies you’ll never return.  Stopping means you’ll return at a later date.  I stopped and thought i could effortlessly return.  I’m learning it’s not effortless.  It’s taken a great amount of effort just to know where to begin again.  But in pondering my current situation, i realize i want it more, i’m hungrier for art and i’m more comfortable in not knowing it’s purpose.  I used to fret endlessly about the meaning of my work; why am i doing it, what’s driving it, how do i get it done, where do i show it, etc.  Those questions creep up every once in a while and i have to quell the din with, “just get it done, you need it.”  That seems to work.  That and my pinterest board of quotes by other artists who dispel the myth that is art.  one of my favorites (of many)of these quotes is by Pablo Picasso.  he states, “Yes, inspiration exists.  But it must find you working.”

And i’m ready to get back to work.  I’ve learned what it means to work smarter, not harder.  I don’t have the luxury of time like i once did.  I consciously make choices throughout the day of how I spend my time.  I’m learning to let go of perfection.  I’m learning to let go of  certain expectations.  It goes without saying, some days are better than others.  I often feel like a dog on a chain,  constantly wanting to do something or be somewhere, but continually being pulled back by commitments and obligations.  That’s life.  I gratefully accept  it. (It goes without saying, some days are better than others.)    But i realize it’s my impulsive nature that creates my frustration.  I’m starting to understand that perhaps not being able to get things done is what i need, to think things through.

I’ve never written a blog, and i have no idea what i’m doing.  I know it’s something advantageous in this technological age to garner followers of my work .  This blog, along with social media and an artfire.com or etsy.com store are the new fandangle way of being a 22nd century artist.  I still have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i want to do it.  I promise i will try not to bore you with too many emotional trivial gushings of insignificant musings.  Getting my studio back and running is a process i’m choosing to share with the public at large.  Whether that is significant or not, i have no idea. I’m hoping that by choosing to share with others, i will remain on task and not let time lapse by months, as can be my habit.  I’m hoping this blog kick starts the slow churning of a rusty, dusty engine that once hummed easily.